Jubilee Life Coach: Daily Meditations

Is it better to stay singe?

• Jubilee Christian Life Coach • Season 1

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Beginning in chapter 7, Paul enters a new phase. He opens with the phrase, "Now concerning the matters about which you wrote" — meaning he is no longer raising his own concerns, but answering questions the Corinthians themselves sent him. We only have one side of the correspondence. But reading his replies, the shape of their questions begins to emerge. It seems some in the Corinthian church had concluded that the more spiritually mature a person is, the freer they should be from physical things — that a holier life meant keeping one's distance from marriage and marital intimacy.

In contemporary language, the question becomes: "Isn't singleness a holier state than marriage?" This question has recurred throughout church history. Roman Catholicism has long answered it in one direction through the institution of clerical celibacy. But Paul's answer is far more balanced, far more generous — and, in all honesty, far more consistent with the Gospel.

1부 · The Body Matters (vv. 1–7)

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:3–4 — NIV

These verses were striking in the ancient world. In Greco-Roman culture, women were largely regarded as property of their husbands. The very idea of granting wives equal standing in this domain was exceptional. Yet Paul says exactly that: the husband's body belongs to the wife, and the wife's body belongs to the husband. This is mutual accountability within the covenant of marriage. Tim Keller, in a 2005 leadership talk at Redeemer Presbyterian Church, described marital intimacy as a covenant renewal — a way of saying in physical terms, "I belong completely, totally, and exclusively to you." Paul is not embarrassed by the body. He treats it as a gift from God and an expression of the marriage covenant.

Paul then says: do not deprive one another — except by mutual agreement, for a limited season of prayer. And after that, come back together. Otherwise, Satan may find an opening through lack of self-control. (v. 5) This warning is not an encouragement toward asceticism. It is exactly the opposite. Paul is actively commending physical intimacy within marriage.

Then, in verse 7, Paul reveals his own heart. He wishes that everyone were as he is — that is, single. But he immediately adds: each person has their own gift from God, one kind or another. Calvin, in his commentary on 1 Corinthians (available at the Christian Classics Ethereal Library), identifies this as "a singular token of modesty" (Calvin, Commentary on 1 Corinthians, 7:7): Paul is endowed with the gift of continency but does not impose his own standard on others. To require celibacy of those who do not have that gift is to work against God's own design.

Reformed Note

The Council of Trent (1563) declared celibacy superior to marriage for those entering holy orders. The Reformers — Calvin above all — rejected this as an unwarranted hierarchy not found in Scripture. For Calvin, marriage is a legitimate calling and a God-given remedy, not a concession to weakness. Neither state is inherently closer to God. What matters is whether a person is living faithfully within the calling God has given them.

2부 ·  Singleness Is Not a Consolation Prize (vv. 8–9)

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

1 Corinthians 7:8–9 — NIV

The phrase "it is better to marry than to burn with passion" is sometimes read as though marriage were a lesser option. But that is exactly the wrong reading. Paul's point is this: if God has given you the gift of marriage, use it. Forcing yourself into a celibacy you were never given is not a mark of holiness — it is a setup for failure. By the same logic, a church culture that regards single people as those who "haven't found someone yet" also conflicts with Paul's theology. Singleness is not second-class citizenship. It is also a gift from God.

Singleness is a gift from God. Marriage is a gift from God. Neither one saves you. Neither one defines you. What defines you is your union with Christ alone.

3부 · The Gospel Holds the Marriage (vv. 10–16)

From verse 10, Paul turns to those who are already married. And here he does something he does rarely — he explicitly appeals to the Lord's own teaching: do not divorce. This is not merely Paul's personal opinion. He grounds his instruction in what Jesus himself commanded, reflecting the teaching of Jesus found in Mark 10 and Matthew 5 and 19. In a world where divorce was relatively accessible in both Roman and Jewish culture, this was a genuinely new and demanding word — and likely unfamiliar to many Corinthian believers.

For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

1 Corinthians 7:14 — NIV

This verse requires careful reading. Paul is not saying the unbelieving spouse is automatically saved. He is saying something more subtle: the very presence of a believing spouse brings that household into the sphere of God's grace. The children grow up within contact of the covenant community. This connects to what Reformed theology calls covenant nurture — salvation is not automatic, but the means of grace are at work in that home in a real and meaningful way.

But what if the unbelieving spouse chooses to leave? Paul says: let them go. "A brother or a sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace." (v. 15) And then comes verse 16 — one of the most quietly hopeful lines in the chapter: "How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?" This is the language of hope, not abandonment. You do not know what God might yet do. To remain faithful in that uncertainty — that is to live as a person of the Gospel.

Neither marriage nor singleness saves us. Christ alone saves us. And within that freedom of the Gospel, we are freed to glorify God in whatever calling we have been given.

Coaching Questions

Status 

How do you honestly feel about your current relationship status — married or single? Is there a story you've been telling yourself about it that might look different in light of what Paul says here?

Surrender

Within your marriage or your life as a single person, where are you still holding something back — from God or from the person He has placed in your life? What might change if you were to surrender that place?

Sanctification

Paul says the believing spouse becomes a channel of grace within the home. Who is closest to you right now — family, colleague, or friend — and what does your presence communicate to them? Is the grace that lives in you reaching them?


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SPEAKER_00

Welcome to Jubilee Coach, where we are free to live and now we live to free. I'm Coach Brian. Today we're in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, and I want to open with a question that I suspect some of you have wondered about. Maybe out loud, maybe just in your head, and that is, is it better to stay single? Now if you've ever sat in a church uh church service and felt like the sermon assumed everyone is married or married with kids or trying to get married, this episode is for you. And if you are married and you're wondering what Paul's answer has to do with you, stay with me because what Paul says here reshapes how every one of us thinks about our bodies, our relationships, and our calling. A little background first. Chapter 7 begins with the phrase, now concerning the matters about which you wrote. Now the Corinthians had sent Paul a letter with questions. We don't have their letter, only Paul's reply, and it's like hearing one side of a phone call. And one of their questions seems to have been this, which is should Christians perhaps avoid marriage altogether? Or at least avoid sex, even within marriage? Some in Corinth had concluded that the more spiritual you are, the less you need physical things. And that included food in chapter 8, and it included sex here. So Apostle's answer is more nuanced and more gracious than either extreme. Verses 1 through 7. The point is the body matters. The apostle opens with a statement that sounds like he agrees with the aesthetics. It is good for a man not to marry, verse 1. But immediately, in the very next breath, he turns it, because sexual immorality is a real and present danger. He says in verse 2, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. And then he says something that would have been genuinely surprising in the ancient world, surprising for both Greek culture and Jewish culture. Verses 3 and 4. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, yet yields to yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but yields it to his wife. Now, did you catch that? The apostle applies the principle equally in a world where women were largely a property. I'm not saying that it was right, I'm just saying it was that way. The apostle says, within marriage, the body belongs to both. That's not a concession, that's a revolution in the first century. Tim Keller, in a 2005 leadership talk at Redeemer Presbyterian Church, put it this way. It's a covenant renewal in physical form. So the apostle is not embarrassed by the body. No, he says to not deprive each other except by mutual agreement and only for a season of prayer. And then come back together, verse 5. And then verses 7 through 9 says that singleness is a gift, not a consolation prize. The apostle says something unexpected in verse 7 that he wishes everyone could be like him. Uh he was unmarried at the time. Now we have to be careful here. The apostle is not saying that singleness is a holier than marriage, that he is not suggesting that married people are somehow second class. No, what he's saying is this that singleness, when it comes with the capacity to live faithfully, is a gift, just as much as marriage is a gift. Neither is a consolation prize, neither is the default spiritual status. Calvin, in his commentary on 1 Corinthians, put it plainly, and the apostle does not require others to bind themselves to his rule, but allows them that remedy for infirmity which he himself dispenses with. For those who cannot exercise self-control, Paul says, Marry. It is better to marry than to burn with passion, verse 9. And that line, better to marry than to burn, is often read as though marriage is a lesser good. But that's not that's not what the passage is saying. In fact, that is the opposite of what the passage is saying. The apostle is saying this, and that is, God has given you the gift of marriage, use it. Don't hold yourself to a standard of celibacy that were never meant for you. Now, verses 10 through 16 says the gospel holds the marriage together, and that's true of all relationships. So now the apostle turns to those who are already married, including those in what we might call mixed marriages, where one spouse has become a Christian and the other has not. And to the married, he echoes the Lord's own teaching that is, do not get a divorce. Verses 10 and 11. This is one of the rare moments in his letters where Paul explicitly appeals to the words of Jesus, pointing to what Jesus taught about the permanence of marriage. But then he addresses a question that must have been agonizing for new converts in Corinth. What if my spouse is not a believer? Should I leave? And the apostle's answer is clear. No, stay, stay within that marriage. Why? Verse 14. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Now what's going on here? The Bible is not saying the unbelieving spouse is automatically saved. No, the Bible is saying something more subtle, and that the presence of a believer in a household brings that household into contact with grace of God. The children are not spiritually outside, they are in some sense covered by the covenant community through the believing parent. Just one of the two. Now, if the unbelieving spouse chooses to leave, then the apostle says, Well, let them go. God has called us to live in peace, verse 15. And then this remarkable verse, verse 16, how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? What the passage is saying is that the gospel changes the calculus of every relationship, and that you don't know what God might do. So, uh here is a thread running through all of this. Whether you are single or married, the apostle's deepest assumption is that you identity your identity is not defined by your relationship status, it is defined by your union with Christ. And that is why he can say with equal dignity, singleness is a gift. Marriage is a gift. Neither one saves you, neither one defines you. Christ does. And the Passover lamb has been sacrificed. You are already holy, not because your marital status, but because of whose you are. And that frees you, whether you are single, married, widowed, or in a complicated situation, to live for something larger than your own fulfillment. So let me conclude with some questions, coaching questions, status. How do you honestly feel about your current relationship status, married or single? Is there a story you are telling yourself about it that might need to be revisited in light of what the apostle is saying here? Second, surrender. In marriage or in singleness, where have you been holding back, emotionally, physically, or spiritually, rather than yielding as an act of love and covenant? What would it mean to surrender that place to God and to the person that God has placed in your life? And lastly, sanctification. The apostle says the believing spouse is an instrument of grace in the home. Who in your household, your workplace, or your closest circle might be touched by the grace that lives in you, not by your words, but by your presence. Well, this is it. Um for the full written meditation with study notes, visit us at jubileecoach.com at the life blog section. And if this episode was helpful, please share it with someone who needs it, who needs to hear that God's grace covers every season of life. This was Coach Brian. We are free to live. Now let us live to free.